All men are dangerous.
Every last one of them. Your Father, Brother, Husband, and Son are all dangerous. The stockboy at the the grocery store is dangerous.
I know this is going to upset a lot of people. It upset me the first time I heard it. People will think I’ve converted to feminism. I haven’t. Just hear me out.
There’s been a lot in the media lately about violence against women and sexual assault. There’s been Ray Rice, Jian Ghomeshi, Bill Cosby, and that weird video game thing where game reviewers are getting death threats. Feminists were crying “toxic masculinity ” and I was getting angry. I felt like I was being lumped into the same category as the women beaters and rapists just because we had the same chromosomes . I wanted to yell and scream that it wasn’t because they were men that they were doing these things. It’s because they’re not good, moral people. While that’s true, they aren’t good people with morals, I was wrong. It is because they are men.
I’ll say it again,
I was wrong. The men who are raping and beating are doing it because they are men.
There were two events that brought me to this realization. One was Gavin McInnes’ great article for Taki’s Magazine “In Defense of Evil. ” McInnes writes about the need for men to engage in their darker instincts for the world to work. “Vices, like greed and revenge, drive men to success.” He’s absolutely right. It’s a man’s desire to make his way in the world and cut out a portion just for himself that drives the world. So why aren’t all men beating and killing and raping? Even though they’re driven by these impulses? I’ll come back to that in a bit.
The second thing that happened was a Mötley Crüe concert. I was there with my fiancee and she was really sketched out by the crowd. They were a pretty rough crowd. Lots of older men and terrible life choices. I wasn’t scared at all but she was worried. I asked her what was up and she said she was scared of all these men.
I was shocked, hurt and upset. I couldn’t go into a place and say I was scared of all these women. I couldn’t blame my troubles on the fact that they were women. That’s not equality! Does she think I’m like that because I’m a man? How could she think I would defend her against these men if it came to that?
As I looked around, I realized that I wasn’t scared of any of these men because I was confident in my ability to defend myself. And that I wasn’t a target. No one has ever looked at me and thought, “Yes, that’s the guy I want to fight.”
But, as a woman, my fiancee is the target of drunk and rough men. Men I’ve had to put in there place on occasion. She has to worry about men. After all, men commit about 75% of all violent crimes. Remember that thing, #YesAllWomen? How it turned into #NotAllMen? Well, I’m here to say, yes all men. Men do bad things. It’s a part of what being a man means. Sometimes we do these bad things in the right way for the right reasons. Sometimes we don’t.
Come back for the next post where we look at the dark impulses of men and why we aren’t all raping and pillaging.