Yesterday was the International Day to End Violence Against Women.
I used to get annoyed and wonder why violence against men didn’t count. I was seeing the world with the equality that I had been taught, ironically by feminism. I don’t see the world like that anymore.
Men and women aren’t equal. They aren’t the same. I will grant that they are equal in dignity as human beings, but that’s about it.
Maybe this makes me a sexist. I’m okay with that. And when I use my greater ability to be violent against the man who is attacking you, you’ll be okay with it too.
Men are violent by nature. Even in things where it isn’t clear violence. In sales, we try to be the best, we’ll tell you why the other guy’s product is terrible. We’ll try to kill it so you buy from us. In politics we try and kill each others’ character and ideas so you vote for us. In everything we do, where we try and be the best there is violence. It might not be physical violence or even bad violence, but it’s still violence.
We accept that kind of violence. We need it. (Check out Gavin McInnes’ post In Defense of Evil. Link in the previous post.) We can pretend that women and men are equal in their ability to be violent but even the equality movement of feminism is based on the idea that men are better at violence than women.
So, why aren’t all these dangerous, violent men raping and pillaging all the time?
It’s a question that western civilization has asked for thousands of years. Plato’s The Republic addresses this question throughout. The answer:
Men are spirited creatures. If they aren’t running into the burning orphanage to save the children they are ones setting it on fire. This violence, or spiritedness needs direction. You can’t breed it out of us and you certainly don’t want to. There always needs to be violent men at the door willing to keep the other violent men at bay.
We need violent men who can properly direct their violence for the good of themselves, their family and their society. Men need a reason to direct this violent energy in a beneficial direction. Often it’s their father who teaches them that reason.
When a dad is wrestling with his son he’s teaching him the joy of productive violence and when it’s appropriate. If the son gets carried away, the father corrects him. The son learns discipline. When a son sees his dad taking care of his mother, he sees how a man uses violence in the protection of his family and to provide for the family.
That’s why, in situations where that ideal is perverted, either because the father is absent or the father abuses his wife and family the son grows up without a proper understanding of appropriate and directed violence. In the jails, the vast majority of criminals grew up in a home without their father or they were abused. The harm of a man who is violent towards his wife and family can last for generation.
There are other ways to educate a man as well. Sports is a great one. Learning how to win and lose is essential in the formation of a man. Look at Elliot Rodgers. His education as a man was neglected, he never learned how to win or lose. Everything was just given to him. And when he wanted something that his parents couldn’t just give him, he killed people.
Men are volatile and we have the ability to do terrible things. But that same ability to do violent things is what makes men great.
I’ll end on this note. Men have a great ability to be violent and will get carried away with it.
That’s why men need women.
Women give men the opportunity to be gentle, to soften, to love. It’s the greatest gift a man can receive.
And being worthy of that gift is something all men should strive for.