Dangerous Men Part 2

Yesterday was the International Day to End Violence Against Women.

I used to get annoyed and wonder why violence against men didn’t count. I was seeing the world with the equality that I had been taught, ironically by feminism. I don’t see the world like that anymore.

Men and women aren’t equal. They aren’t the same. I will grant that they are equal in dignity as human beings, but that’s about it.

Maybe this makes me a sexist. I’m okay with that. And when I use my greater ability to be violent against the man who is attacking you, you’ll be okay with it too.

Men are violent by nature. Even in things where it isn’t clear violence. In sales, we try to be the best, we’ll tell you why the other guy’s product is terrible. We’ll try to kill it so you buy from us. In politics we try and kill each others’ character and ideas so you vote for us. In everything we do, where we try and be the best there is violence. It might not be physical violence or even bad violence, but it’s still violence.

We accept that kind of violence. We need it. (Check out Gavin McInnes’ post In Defense of Evil. Link in the previous post.) We can pretend that women and men are equal in their ability to be violent but even the equality movement of feminism is based on the idea that men are better at violence than women.

So, why aren’t all these dangerous, violent men raping and pillaging all the time?

It’s a question that western civilization has asked for thousands of years. Plato’s The Republic addresses this question throughout. The answer:


Men are spirited creatures. If they aren’t running into the burning orphanage to save the children they are ones setting it on fire. This violence, or spiritedness needs direction. You can’t breed it out of us and you certainly don’t want to. There always needs to be violent men at the door willing to keep the other violent men at bay.

We need violent men who can properly direct their violence for the good of themselves, their family and their society. Men need a reason  to direct this violent energy in a beneficial direction.  Often it’s their father who teaches them that reason.

When a dad is wrestling with his son he’s teaching him the joy of productive violence and when it’s appropriate. If the son gets carried away, the father corrects him. The son learns discipline. When a son sees his dad taking care of his mother, he sees how a man uses violence in the protection of his family and to provide for the family.

That’s why, in situations where that ideal is perverted, either because the father is absent or the father abuses his wife and family the son grows up without a proper understanding of appropriate and directed violence. In the jails, the vast majority of criminals grew up in a home without their father or they were abused. The harm of a man who is violent towards his wife and family can last for generation.

There are other ways to educate a man as well. Sports is a great one. Learning how to win and lose is essential in the formation of a man. Look at Elliot Rodgers. His education as a man was neglected, he never learned how to win or lose. Everything was just given to him. And when he wanted something that his parents couldn’t just give him, he killed people.

Men are volatile and we have the ability to do terrible things. But that same ability to do violent things is what makes men great.

I’ll end on this note. Men have a great ability to be violent and will get carried away with it.

That’s why men need women.

Women give men the opportunity to be gentle, to soften, to love. It’s the greatest gift a man can receive.

And being worthy of that gift is something all men should strive for.


Dangerous Men

All men are dangerous.

Every last one of them. Your Father, Brother, Husband, and Son are all dangerous. The stockboy at the the grocery store is dangerous.

I’m dangerous.

I know this is going to upset a lot of people. It upset me the first time I heard it. People will think I’ve converted to feminism. I haven’t. Just hear me out.

There’s been a lot in the media lately about violence against women and sexual assault. There’s been Ray Rice, Jian Ghomeshi, Bill Cosby, and that weird video game thing where game reviewers are getting death threats. Feminists were crying “toxic masculinity ” and I was getting angry. I felt like I was being lumped into the same category as the women beaters and rapists just because we had the same chromosomes . I wanted to yell and scream that it wasn’t because they were men that they were doing these things. It’s because they’re not good, moral people. While that’s true, they aren’t good people with morals, I was wrong. It is because they are men.

I’ll say it again,

I was wrong. The men who are raping and beating are doing it because they are men.

There were two events that brought me to this realization. One was Gavin McInnes’ great article for Taki’s Magazine “In Defense of Evil. ” McInnes writes about the need for men to engage in their darker instincts for the world to work. “Vices, like greed and revenge, drive men to success.” He’s absolutely right. It’s a man’s desire to make his way in the world and cut out a portion just for himself that drives the world. So why aren’t all men beating and killing and raping? Even though they’re driven by these impulses? I’ll come back to that in a bit.

The second thing that happened was a Mötley Crüe concert. I was there with my fiancee and she was really sketched out by the crowd. They were a pretty rough crowd. Lots of older men and terrible life choices. I wasn’t scared at all but she was worried. I asked her what was up and she said she was scared of all these men.

I was shocked, hurt and upset. I couldn’t go into a place and say I was scared of all these women. I couldn’t blame my troubles on the fact that they were women. That’s not equality! Does she think I’m like that because I’m a man? How could she think I would defend her against these men if it came to that?

As I looked around, I realized that I wasn’t scared of any of these men because I was confident in my ability to defend myself. And that I wasn’t a target. No one has ever looked at me and thought, “Yes, that’s the guy I want to fight.”

But, as a woman, my fiancee is the target of drunk and rough men. Men I’ve had to put in there place on occasion.  She has to worry about men. After all, men commit about 75% of all violent crimes. Remember that thing, #YesAllWomen? How it turned into #NotAllMen? Well, I’m here to say, yes all men. Men do bad things. It’s a part of what being a man means. Sometimes we do these bad things in the right way for the right reasons. Sometimes we don’t.


Come back for the next post where we look at the dark impulses of men and why we aren’t all raping and pillaging.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Feminism

This is a pretty big moment for me.

One of my heroes, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, has called out the people who were upset over Matt Taylor’s shirt. She told them to stop worrying about “Trivial Bullshit”. Check out the article in the Washington Examiner here.

She says that radical Islam is doing things to women that are actually terrible. And that feminism has gotten sidetracked away from making sure women have access to education and personal liberty.

It’s the same argument I made in my last blog post. Hirsi Ali, of course makes the argument much more eloquently. I’m just happy that I was on the same wavelength.

Silly Shirts and Sillier People

Can we be adults for just a minute?

Human scientists landed a spacecraft on a speeding comet. I’m no scientist, but apparently it’s like jumping off of one speeding bullet to land on another. It’s incredible. A scientist named Matt Taylor landed the Philae craft on the Comet Rosetta. It’s a major human accomplishment. As a species, we should be celebrating.

Except, Matt Taylor wore a his lucky and kitschy bowling shirt with cartoon women in various states of undress.

Suddenly, the feminist universe exploded and overshadowed this incredible scientific achievement.

Now, I could go over the ridiculous nature of this complaint. Talk about how feminists constantly complain about being judged for what they wear and here they are doing just that. But I want to focus on something a little different.

The supposed purpose of Feminism is to create equality between men and women. We can talk about that all day, but for now let’s say that we want that and it’s an achievable goal. In this case, let me give you a little insight on men, something that the feminists may not know:

Men don’t get offended over shirts. And if they do, they let it go. Real men are worrying about things far more important than someone’s poor taste in style.

Everyday I see people wearing offensive shirts. Whether it’s Che, the hammer and sickle or some stupid thing they saw Miley Cyrus wear.

And you know what?

Who cares?

There’s so many real and important things going on in real life that real people have to worry about that a shirt doesn’t even ping on the radar.

If feminists want equality with men and respect, they can’t be delicate enough that a shirt ruins their day. Men don’t get to be delicate. We have to deal with real issues.

I don’t believe in pointing problems out without bringing forward a solution, so here’s my solution for delicate feminists: focus on things that can actually hurt women.

Example: Female Genital Mutilation.

The UN estimates 140 Million girls have had their genitals mutilated. The practice is barbaric and horrific. They use rusty, dull blades to scrape away the parts of a woman’s genitals that feel sexual pleasure. It’s supposed to safeguard women against lustful thoughts and maintain their virginity. It’s happening more and more in the West too. I don’t need to go through the barbarism of this practice. We all know this is bad. [Update] If you’d like to learn more or donate to a group that works to save girls from being mutilated check out Plan Canada]

So I put this to the delicate feminists out there: If you want to be taken seriously, stop worrying about silly shirts and start worrying about things that actually matter.

Lumbersexuals, Metrosexuals and Manliness

Over the last few days there’s been a fair amount of talk over this new classification of men called “Lumbersexuals.”

You may ask yourself, what is a “Lumbersexual”? Do I even want to know? Let me enlighten you.

Apparently a Lumbersexual is someone who dresses in flannel or plaid, has a beard and seems very manly. The original article posted at Gear Junkie here.

According to them:

“Today, the metrosexual is a disappearing breed being quickly replaced by men more concerned with existing in the outdoors, or the pseudo-outdoors, than meticulous grooming habits.He is bar-hopping, but he looks like he could fell a Norway Pine.He looks like a man of the woods, but works at The Nerdery, programming for a healthy salary and benefits. His backpack carries a MacBook Air, but looks like it should carry a lumberjack’s axe. He is the Lumbersexual.”

So the Lumbersexual is essentially the style pendulum swinging from effeminate metrosexual to the hyper masculine lumbersexual. Now let me tell you why this is all ridiculous.

Full disclosure, I have a great beard and I wear plaid and plaid flannel when it gets cold out. This isn’t some new trend with me. I’ve been able to grow a full beard since highschool. When I was playing football I liked to have a beard because it made the chinstrap on my helmet more comfortable. Plus, nothing says manly like playing on the line with a full beard. You may as well be wrestling with your pet sabretooth tiger.

Anyways, I eventually had to shave my beard for various jobs I got to pay for my education. Plus, my prom date hated and probably still hates facial hair. After I got a new job and a lady friend that appreciated facial hair I was all about it. As far as the plaid flannel goes, I live in Alberta. ‘Nuff said.

This doesn’t make me a “Lumbersexual”.

It makes me a man. I know what I wanted and what I wanted to put out into the world. This is who I am and what I look like. Barring some other life circumstances I will likely have a beard and be wearing plaid when my grandchildren visit me. This is who I am.

All this metrosexual/lumbersexual stuff is nonsense. They’re just labels being attached to styles for people who want to be hip and with it. For the rest of us, we look how we want to look because it makes us feel like ourselves and it makes us feel powerful. When I walk down the street, I feel good about myself because I know I look good. I take pride in my appearance. I’ve known many men who would fall into either the lumbersexual or metrosexual label but weren’t those. They were just themselves. They gave off the image of a man who knew who he was. They didn’t label themselves anything other than who they were. For example, a friend of mine I worked with, he was probably more on the metrosexual side. He was meticulously groomed, probably used skin creams or whatever, but when you looked at him, he wasn’t metrosexual. He was Kevin. A good man.

I’ve also seen some commentators talking about some weird “beard culture” privilege whatever. It’s all non-sense. Stop trying to fit into these culturally empty labels and take pride in yourself.

Real men aren’t going to get caught up in these labels or trends because they don’t care about being a  part of the pack. They figure out who they are and live it. Being authentic to yourself has always been a timeless style.